So Close
by greenmangoes
Summary: a songfic of sorts set mostly within the last 2 episodes of UB mostly from daniel's perspective and his gradual realization of his feelings for betty


**So Close**

AN: First off, I don't own anything. Not even the computer where I typed this story on =) Any recognizable dialogue you read (underlined for reference) comes directly from the show which I am using throughout this story, both to capture the essence of the series as well as for narrative flow.

I suppose one would consider this a songfic (not quite sure how that works – it's been a while since I wrote a fanfic so am not up to date anymore) so the words that are boldy italicized are actually lyrics of the song of the same title as above, taken from the soundtrack of "Enchanted."

The song lyrics are in the right order, but the scenes taken from the last 2 episodes (and epi 7) of the series are not. I kind of took them apart (after painstakingly transcribing the pertinent dialogues) so they'd fit with the lyrics (somewhat). While I wished the series had ended with them together, I do understand that it did end the only way it could have given the shortened timeline they had to work with.

At any rate, I fully believe that Daniel did realize that he loved Betty – as dissected here. I suppose I could have written a story of what comes after – like some stories which I really love and am following right now – but I just couldn't get the idea for this out of my head. The last time a TV couple's open-ended love story got to me, I ended up writing a 100+chapter story for…LOL. Hopefully, this will just be a one-shot thing. It's unbeta'd so do forgive me for any mistakes. Feedback would be nice too =)

* * *

"May I throw you around the floor for a while?" He asked her softly, holding his hand out as he wondered what she and Justin were talking about so intently. Knowing Betty, it was probably something very profound.

_**You're in my arms**_

_**And all the world is calm  
**_

He thought at first it would hurt a little. This wedding... knowing that it should have reminded him of his own, with Molly. But right now in the middle of this ballroom with his arm around her waist and her hand in his, he realized it didn't hurt at all. That it hadn't for a long time now.

_**The music playing on for only two...**_

"What?" she asked.

Her question brought him out of his reverie. "No I was just thinking..." he answered.

"Aha see? You're getting smarter already." she teased him.

_**So close together  
**_

It wasn't the first time he'd danced with her. It certainly wasn't the first time he'd held her in his arms. After all, they'd hugged each other countless times before. But it felt...different somehow. He struggled to name what it was he was actually feeling but failed. Like a whisper one barely hears, it just brushed across his consciousness fleetingly.

_**And when I'm with you**_

"You know what? Sometimes I think I have to take care of everyone, but look at them." She said as she stared at her family by the table while they were dancing, a bittersweet smile on her face.

Then it hit him.

_**So close to feeling alive...**_

"It's a great feeling isn't it when everything is right in the world?" he whispered.

"Yeah." she said, still looking at them.

He wasn't quite sure if he was glad she was looking away, and so did not see his thoughts mirrored in his face, but as he looked at her while they danced, he couldn't help but smile.

_**A life goes by **_

_**Romantic dreams will stop  
**_

"Daniel, let Molly go."

"Why are you calling yourself Molly? Stop ok!" Daniel was so confused. Why was Molly doing this to him? He just wanted to be with her.

"Let her go." She insisted

"I can't." He couldn't breathe. Why can't she understand? "I never got to say goodbye."

"Then say it now, I'm right here say goodbye to me." It should have been harder to do so. Hadn't he been living in a daze since she died? But then…

_**So I bid mine goodbye **_

"Goodbye Molly." He finally said it. And then he kissed her in an effort to remember how it had been. But it felt…different.

And then as though he woke up from a dream, he heard her, "Daniel…"

_**and never knew**_

"Uhm you know I meant to ask you something about the other night." He started to ask. He could only remember bits of that night but he knew…he felt…something more monumental than him putting Molly's memory to rest had happened.

"Remember when I was kind of off on level 7 land and I thought that I was kissing Molly goodbye and I kind of woke up and you were standing right there… sort of … in front of me…" he wasn't sure why he wanted to go this road but he couldn't seem to help it. "Uh did we.. uh…" he couldn't say it, not really knowing what kind of answer he wanted.

"Yeah. Sort of.. I mean you kissed me around the eyebrow – I'm a lot shorter than Molly" she looked away when she said this.

For some reason, her answer disappointed him. But because she turned away, he was forced to laugh it off. "Oh okay…okay right."

_**So close was waiting,**_

"I'm so sorry you found out before I could tell you."

He just stared at her unable to say anything.

"Daniel I'm so grateful for these last 4 years. It has been a pleasure working for you...actually an honor.." she was rambling, so he had to cut her off.

"Did you rehearse this?" he asked, amused against his will.

"A little. Daniel we're always gonna be friends and I..."

Friends. For some reason he felt like crap at hearing that but that is what they are. Friends. So he said, "Betty, it's fine." softening the way he said it.

"It is?" she asked, with an uncertain expression on her face.

"Of course it's not fine!" he thought, but couldn't make himself say it. So he just mumbled, "Yeah."

"Ok. Great!"

"Did she really have to sound so happy?" he asked himself sadly, all the while keeping a bland expression on his face. "Is there anything else?" he asked expectantly, hoping she would backpedal and say it was all a horrible joke. That she really wouldn't be leaving him. Him? He meant Mode of course.

"Uhm yeah." she began, raising his hopes up. " I need you to sign this form releasing me from my contract. They need it tomorrow."giving him the paper she took out of her bag.

It was all he could do to maintain the bland expression on his face, wanting to rip that paper to shreds. But because she didn't seem to care that he was breaking his heart, he said, "Yep. No problemo." quite emphatically, proud of himself. Then pointedly looked down at his laptop to indicate he was busy. And that he really didn't care.

"Ok. Great." she said slowly before she turned to walk away.

He couldn't help but stare longingly at her retreating back, knowing she wouldn't see. But then she turned and he had to quickly look back down at his laptop.

He had his pride after all.

_**waiting here with you**_

"Look, I'm sorry but in my defense, it looked a lot cooler in my head." he had said to her as she bandaged his hand.

Of course it hadn't been. He'd nearly burned his office down and succeeded only in making himself look like a fool. It hadn't helped that everyone in the department had been staring at him in disbelief too. He had done many juvenile things in his life, but that stunt probably ranked as one of his worst yet. He wondered again for the nth time why he even thought to do that.

"I don't understand. I thought you were okay with it. You said no problemo."

"Well it is a problemo! I'm angry." That's what he said anyway. But in reality, he was hurt. "I can't believe you'd make a decision that big without talking to me about it. At all."

"I'm sorry. Look I don't want us to end in bad terms"

"I don't want that either." And because it was easier to say it was all about work, he said, "I just don't know how I feel about releasing you from your contract."

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"We've invested a lot in you Betty. If it was anyone else I'd say no. I need to think about this." And if he said it often enough, he'd believe it really was just all about work.

"Ok. Well they need the form right away or I'll lose the job."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" He wanted to ask. Instead he said, "I said I would think about it.."

_**And now forever I know**_

"Just the other night we were here talking and working, I mean she's writing my bio! I wouldn't trust anyone else to do that." he explained agitatedly as he walked around his mother. Explaining to her while trying to make sense of his feelings at the same time.

"Are you sure this isn't about more than just Betty's editing skills?" she asked, with that suggestive tone to her voice.

"What are you talking about?" he asked exasperatedly, not in the mood to humor his mother at all.

"I'm talking about the fact that you might have feelings for her!" she told him pointedly.

"What?" Feelings for Betty? That's ridiculous. "Come on Mom, that's crazy!" he answered.

"Perhaps. Or could it explain your behavior?"

"What? No!" he said. "No way!" he added for good measure. Was his mother drinking again?

"Daniel, darling you were so upset at the possibility of her leaving you nearly burned down your office." She was the very voice of reason. "If you are having such a hard time with her leaving, you need to give her a reason to stay."

And like a proverbial light bulb being turned on over his head, it dawned on him. Of course! He can give her a reason to stay! Quickly before he could properly think about that reason, he marched out of his office to find her.

And there she was … walking quickly up to him as well.

"Daniel I.." she began, but he cut her off.

"Me first. Betty, I can't live without you!" Holy crap! Did he actually say that? WTF?

"What?" Betty asked looking quite shell-shocked.

He couldn't exactly blame her. He was feeling shell-shocked himself, not knowing where that came from. Surely his mom wasn't right, was she? He could feel himself start to blush as she continued to stare at him, a frown of confusion slowly wrinkling her brow. "Think Daniel think!" he told himself, trying to come up with a plausible explanation for what he just said.

"Daniel, are you okay?" she asked, looking really confused.

That irked the hell out of him for some reason. Why the hell is she looking confused for? He completely discounted the fact that he himself was confused.

"Look, you're a very valuable member of this publication. Mode needs you."

Yes, that was it. The magazine needed her. "Brilliant, Daniel!" he mentally patted himself in the back.

"Look, I know London is a great opportunity for you, but you can do that here."

She was opening her mouth to speak, so he quickly offered, "We'll make you a full-fledged editor."

No response.

"We'll double your salary!" he added.

Still no response.

"Your own office?" he said this inquiringly, hoping for an indication that she liked what she was hearing.

"And your own assistant."

Why wasn't she saying anything?

Finally, "Daniel..." she began again slowly.

Shit! She was going to turn him down. He suddenly couldn't breathe. "Look, why don't you think about this and let me know tomorrow okay?" he quickly cut her off. "Just nod." he said.

She nodded.

And he could breathe again.

_**All that I wanted **_

"Uh Daniel this is Betty. Uhm it's my going away party and you're not here. Ah I was just wondering if you're gonna come. I really hope that I get to see you before I leave. Okay. Bye!"

Had she been crying when she left that message, he wondered, or was he hearing more than he should because he himself wanted to. He knew he was acting badly. He knew they needed to talk. But what could she say that she hadn't already. What could he offer that he hadn't already? It would only hurt more if they were to see each other face to face. It would only make it harder for him to let her go. By keeping his distance now, he was already conditioning himself for her absence. It was better this way really. That's what he told himself anyway.

_**to hold you so close**_

He really didn't want to come. He promised himself he wouldn't, because, it was just too hard. But his feet seemed to have a mind of their own because they brought him here. Now, staring at her through the glass as she danced with Marc and Amanda, he almost came in. Almost gave in to the urge to take her in his arms one last time. But there seemed to be no hint of sadness in her smile. No indication that she had indeed been waiting for him to show up. So he stayed where he was. Just staring at her, through the glass door.

"Are you going to talk to her?" his mother's voice broke into his thoughts.

He took a moment to compose himself and hoping his voice didn't break, whispered, "I think I need to let her go." before he turned and walked away.

_**So close to reaching that famous happy end**_

"Would you like anything to drink Sir?" the flight attendant asked Daniel solicitously as he settled into his seat in the plane. The old him would have probably flirted with her. But he just shook his head and smiled at her before turning away to look at the window. He knew he should be feeling more apprehensive than he was at the moment. After all, by most accounts he was likely too old to start again, especially without the backing of his family name behind him. Many people would probably shake their heads at him. After fighting hard to prove his father wrong and finally making it, here he was, walking away. Ok, flying away would be more accurate. But he couldn't bring himself to really care.

By now, Mode's 100th issue had probably already hit the stands. Everyone who followed the magazine would have already read his last letter from the editor. He wondered idly if she had read it. Part of him wished she did so it would be easier, but another part of him knew it probably wouldn't be a good idea if she had. At least, not yet.

Alexis had nearly yelled his ear off when she found out he had handed the reins of Mode to Wilhelmina. His mother had just looked at him solemnly as she accepted his resignation. Marc didn't seem as happy to see him go as he should have been, given their history. And Amanda, well, after kissing him with tongue, she had surprised him when she struck him forcefully in the head, saying "That was for letting Betty leave without saying goodbye, asshole!"

He was going to miss them all. But he wanted something more. He wanted someone more. He really should have known earlier.

_**Almost believing**_

"So what's going on? He's back and it's a date?" he tried not to sound like he cared too much about her answer. Because of course he didn't.

"No it's not a date – it's a breakfast."

"I don't know why you want to go this road again I don't want to see you get hurt." he couldn't help but ask, because he really couldn't see why. Hadn't Henry hurt her enough?

"That's very sweet Daniel but I'm not on that road. I don't know what road I'm on but whatever it is it's totally new."

It was all he could do to stop himself from physically shaking her for her naivete. Staying for a while in New York is he...we'll just see about that.

_**...this was not pretend**_

"Daniel, you caused him his job!"

"Damn right I did!" he thought with satisfaction, but said instead, "I'm your friend. Don't I have the right to protect you when I see you making such a big mistake?"

"No you don't and who said it was a mistake?"

What? Of course he had a right to do what he did. "You are moving backwards. You have so much ahead of you!" Couldn't she see what a big mistake it was to go back to Henry?

"Oh my God talk about moving backwards? What are you doing with Trista? Aren't you past that?"

What the hell has that got to do with it? So what if he dated Trista? She was completely missing the point! "That is so completely different!"

"You know what? Let's just make a deal I will stay out of your personal life and you stay out of mine!" she shouted at him as she turned and walked away.

F*ck! Who the hell does she think she is? Getting angry at him all because of that pencil-pushing, no good accountant! After all they had been through together, she chooses him?

_**And now you're beside me **_

"You look great." he whispered. Because she did. She looked beautiful in that dress.

"Thank you. And thanks for helping Henry get his job back..."

"Betty I'm so sorry – I should probably say something to him.." he offered, though he didn't particularly relish talking to the guy.

"He's not coming. You were right I was going backwards."

He wanted to smile joyfully, but managed to control himself. Instead, he asked, "You okay?" holding his breath as he waited for her response.

"Yeah we're just in 2 very different places right now."

He wondered if she'd think him bad if he gave in to the urge to pump his fist and say, "Yes!"

_**and look how far we've come**_

"I guess you know me better than I thought." she continued with a smile.

"Well, you know me pretty well too." Because she really did. She got him. "Trista definitely brings out the dumb in me. Irregardless isn't a word is it?" he asked to lighten the mood.

He could only smile as she answered softly, "No."

_**So far we are so close **_

If he had paused even for a second then to consider his actions, if he had thought to ask himself why he really wanted Henry out of the picture, maybe he would have realized what he had much sooner. And then maybe things would be different now.

_**How could I face the faceless days**__  
_

"Hey." he looked up as she entered his office and at the expression on her face he froze.

"You're leaving. Aren't you?" he asked quietly. At her continued silence, he forced himself to ask, "Ah do you have… another copy of that paper you wanted me to sign?"

In seeming slow motion he saw her open her bag and take out the release form. He wished he was still the old Daniel. The one who didn't care for anyone else but his own convenience. But she happened to him, and so, here he was…not wanting to but reaching out for that paper just the same. He was surprised his hand didn't shake as he scrawled his signature on the form. Because for some reason, it seemed as though the rest of him was... shaking that is.

"Are we good?" she asked tentatively, looking like she was about to cry.

And there it was. The million dollar question. Were they? Somehow, he didn't think they would ever be good again. That he wouldn't ever feel good again.

But because he couldn't find it in his heart to disappoint her yet again, he said, "We're good."

"Daniel..."

_**If I should lose you now?**_

"No!" he mentally slammed the overture down. Just because she expected him to manfully accept her decision, doesn't mean he had to continue this farce.

"I'm supposed to be in a meeting right now...so why don't we ah … talk later," he said as he stood up to leave. There was no meeting of course. But if he didn't leave right at that moment, he was afraid he'd break down and beg her to stay.

So he left.

_**We're so close to reaching  
**_

He spotted her as soon as her feet touched that last step. She didn't notice him of course. She was too busy talking to someone on her cellphone.

_**that famous happy end**_

So he moved to make sure she would bump into him. "Betty…"

"Oh! Sorry" she apologized before she realized it was me. "Daniel!"

_**And almost believing this was not pretend**__  
_

"So, was that hard for you?" she asked as they were sitting on the steps.

"Not really. Uh, . Just… I realized I've had everything handed to me." He started to explain. "I've never really gotten anything on my own…like…like you."

"Well, I know there's a lot you can do Daniel."

"Thank you." Her words made him feel good. "And I also realized I didn't say goodbye which is, ah, really not cool." An understatement he knew. "So, goodbye. And… goodluck. And … have a safe flight." He joked.

"Thank you. I'll call you when I get there."

He laughed at her comeback.

_**Let's go on dreaming for we know we are**__  
_

"So…so that's it? You're headed back to New York?" she asked.

He looked away, suddenly nervous about answering, "No I think I'm gonna stay around here for a while. See what I can find."

He had wanted to wait before asking her really, but then heard himself say, "Maybe…take you to dinner," and before he could chicken out completely, "Tonight. If you're free."

The breath he hadn't been aware he was holding came out in rush at her words, "I would love that."

_**So close **__  
_

"Well I'd better get back to work," she began as she started to stand up. He reluctantly followed suit, not wanting her to leave yet.

But her next words, "I'm really glad you're here," and move to reach out to hug him, made it better. He wanted to prolong the contact, but it was daytime and they were in the middle of the square, so he forced himself to let go. For now anyway.

_**So close**_

"I'll call you later." He said softly.

"Great." She answered before she started down the steps.

And before he could think to call her back, she turned around and said, "Hey, if you want something to do…I am looking for a new assistant," a mischievous glint to her eyes.

_**And still**_

He felt her smile hit him squarely in the chest. "Well, maybe I will submit my resume." He answered with a smile, just before she turned…

s_**o far **_

and walked away.


End file.
